The night we found out our lives would change forever

When you're trying for babies you dont want to let yourself hope that a little pee on a stick could tell you something so positive and really mean what you think it means. The day I decided to take the infamous pregnancy test, I nervously waited for the hubby to get home. He's just lucky I waited. But honestly, I didn't want it to come back positive and NOT have him there to share it with. So when I came out of the bathroom with tears in my eyes, I barely said a word and he knew. An excited: "What?!" was shouted, followed by a "No way" before I confirmed what he knew. The test was positive. But then of course neither of us really believed it. It couldn't be true - we wanted it too much, and we had expected it to take much longer to happen. So we read the fine print on the test box and learned of the chance of a false positive and all that. But we took pictures anyway, just in case it really was true. The next day I called around a few doctors to find out how accurate those tests were. And.....I took another one. Positive again. One doctors office told me that they offered a free pregnancy test so I hurried down before they closed and they told me that I was 100% prego. I still questioned the nurse a few dozen more times - "Now are you SURE??" I just couldn't believe the news, it was too good to be true. So I called the hubby and babbled through tears that it really was positive. There was no more doubting that I had a bun in the oven. But, still it was SO hard to believe! I was fortunate enough to be one of the rare exceptions of women who don't have a bit of morning sickness. But that meant I didn't feel any different!! Sure, I was tired but I credited that more to the 6am dance practices and full school load. (Note to future self: Dancing 9-12 hrs a week & going to school full time while coping with the exhaustion and crazy hunger pains that the first trimester brings is crazy. You should not attempt this again. Especially since you can't tell anyone that you're not a pansy, you're just pregnant. Plus all the spinning makes you feel pretty sick.) But when we had our first official dr appt and got to see little Orange Seed for the first time and hear that magical hummingbird-like heartbeat, we both started believing it was actually true. I made a goal to write in a special pregnancy journal weekly with my cravings, stats, emotions, etc. But you know what? I never even finished my first entry. I stink at journals. So I'd like to jot down a few things here that I want to make sure and remember for years to come about this little guy. And maybe (but most likely not) write about them in an actual journal later. Then I promise to show more pictures.

Dear Orange Seed,

• At almost exactly 16 weeks I felt you move right after our dr appt to find out you were a he. It was the most amazing thing I have ever experienced and I cried pretty much instantly.
• About around week 25 you decided my right rib was a great spot to hang out. And moving around there tickled enough to make me squeak out a little giggle. Which made your dad (who is pretty much the greatest ever) laugh too.
• About around week 28, that tickling turned into real jabs that I'm sure will just hurt more and more the bigger you get. Also - you've rarely moved from that cozy spot in my right rib. Maybe it was because when you had the tendency to push out REALLY hard - which hurt!- I would push you right back in. You must have learned I can't get you there. Already outsmarting me = not good.
• I knew from the get go you were a boy.
• I learned the hard way what heartburn is and apparently that means you'll have a good head of hair. I'll take the heartburn if you promise to have a cute little 'fro, deal?
• Sometimes when I'm thinking about you I start crying, because I already love you that much. Just remember that when I say no to you jumping off the roof in your superman cape.
• On that note - I'm very nervous that you'll be your father's son. Not because he isn't amazing (he is, btw - you'll love him), but because he was apparently pretty reckless and crazy as a child. Remind me not to let him tell you any of his stories, in case you think they sound like a good idea and you forget that he got hurt in the end.
• One of the most amazing moments was when we saw you in our 2nd or 3rd ultrasound and you were throwing both your hands and feet about, almost like you liked dancing with me every day. That's good, because I'm going to make you dance with me whether you like it or not when you're older. But you can also do whatever YOU want to do, so it's a fair trade off. 
• I still remember you mooning the ultrasound tech at one of our appts. You're definitely your fathers son. And don't worry, we have the picture to prove it to all your girlfriends.
• Just so you know, I hate bugs. So I'd rather you always keep them out of the house when you want to play with them. I will, however, always pretend to like them so you don't get any ideas about terrorizing your poor mother. 
• Cooper will love you instantly - probably too much. You'll get lots of slobbery kisses from that one. But London might take a bit to warm up. Don't worry, once she decides you belong to her, she'll be the best little friend/protector you'll ever have. 
• You decided around week 20 that sweets were the best thing ever and can't seem to get enough. I'm hoping that this doesn't indicate that you have diabetes. It runs in the family, you know. So I'm trying to be careful and I would really appreciate it if you wouldn't crave them so much.
• You also seem to love mangoes. I eat one almost every day. I wonder if you'll like them just as much when you start eating solid food. Oh and you can't get enough of Coke slurpees - proof again that you will be your father's son in more ways than one.
• I'm constantly worried I'm not getting the right amount of nutrition eaten for you. I made a spreadsheet and everything, but it's pretty overwhelming to eat everything they say you're supposed to every single day. Especially since I'm the world's pickiest eater. But just know I'm trying my best.
• Sometimes when you kick, I move my hand to a different spot in on my growing belly and I swear you follow it. Even if this isn't the case, I'm going to believe it is.
• You usually move around a lot whenever we watch an action movie. Which is perfect, because those are my favorite. So even if we don't have bugs, we have action movies.
• You should know that I worry about being your mom every day. Worried that I won't be the mom I want to be. But I will try my darndest, and I'll love you like crazy. So maybe that'll make it all okay.