I guess Holden wasn't ready for his close up

.....But I got a few shots anyway. The little bugger made me promptly decide never to shoot newborns again. And kudos to anyone who can successfully pull it off. I mean, seriously. I would wait an hour holding H in the same position so he'd fall asleep in a cute little pose like the many I've pinned to my Pinterest board. And then the moment I tried to take the photo he'd wake up. So after a couple weeks of getting one shot here and there I called it good.

The last three weeks with lots and lots of pictures

First off - SO terribly sorry for the lack of bloggage around here. To be completely frank it's been a bit of a rough adjustment and I've spend most days trying to stop the roller coaster of hormones and recovery sickness from taking over my life. I'm not always that successful (I cried when my hubby told he he'd take me to In-N-Out for lunch yesterday), but it's not for lack of trying! I know this is a beautiful and amazing part of my life and I couldn't be more grateful for little H to be in our lives. But sometimes things can be amazing and hard at the same time. Luckily for me I have an amazing support system of family and friends who have helped me out & an even more amazing (if that's possible) hubby who never lets a day go by without telling me I'm pretty rad for tackling this whole motherhood thing. And now for the onslaught of pictures - I included more from the delivery/birth that I should have posted in H's birth story. Maybe one day I'll go back and change that. Maybe.

Checking in.

Oh yeah....they had me on oxygen too......not the funnest.

Hello baby!

Proud papa....

...and mama.

My sis and bro-in-law came to visit...

...and brought goodies from the whole fam (thanks everyone!)

Learning to multi-task as a new mama.

His going home outfit is WAY cuter in real life. Promise.

My bro and (now-yay!) sis-in-law visiting. Dear brother looks like he's about to eat H, but really he was just crying with him. Or at least that's what he led us to believe....

The first post-hospital sponge bath.

My son likes to flip me off on a daily basis. I'm trying not to take it personally.

My bday! The hubby spoiled me with a mini little shopping spree and Red Velvet Cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory (my favorite). He's pretty much the greatest. And this is only one of lotsa pictures we have of London photobombing. It's a serious Lady & the Tramp syndrome over here.

And then my cute little niece wanted to make sure I had a bday party complete with doughnuts and party hats. Pay no attention to the baby reaching for the baked goods....we had no idea until we looked at the photo. She's pretty much Alias.

Grams!

4 Generations  - my daddio and my (middle) namesake Grandma.

Two other adorable nieces and my amazing Aunt Holly.

So glad I wasn't the only one making a funny face. That would have been awkward.

Picking out H's first Christmas tree!!

Baby Holden's Birth Story

I woke up on October 30th achy and having contractions every so often. But that was nothing new. I had woken up many mornings with these same feelings and we had just been to the doctor the day before with no hopeful news of baby H coming anytime soon. I had consigned myself to another week of torturous pregnancy before it would go down in a flame of induction. Then around 5pm I started having contractions more consistently. Pretty much every 30 minutes on the dot. But again, I didn't want to believe this could be it. So the hubby went to the night class he's taking at UCLA without hesitation from either of us. I threw on some Big Bang Theory and worked on the canvas painting I was making for Orange Seed's room and started timing the contractions just in case. Then at 10pm, the contractions jumped to being only 5-10 minutes apart. When the hubby got out of class at 10:15p and called me I told him there was a chance we would be going to the hospital so he better hurry home. Before actually heading to the hospital we waited for the contractions to be 5-7 minutes apart for an hour. Then once it was evident this was the real thing I took a shower and made the bed. Then just before we left I asked the hubby to clean the kitchen. He thought I was joking since about every 5 minutes I was in enough pain that I couldn't speak. But what can I say? I hate coming home to a messy house. It was worth the pain. By the time we made the super bumpy (aka super painful) freeway ride to the hospital the contractions were only 3 minutes apart. When they checked me I was 4 centimeters dilated and so they admitted me immediately. The hubby and I were pretty surprised by how quiet the hospital was. There was no hustling and bustling about as you see in the movies. And I'm almost certain we were the only ones in the maternity wing. So we whipped out our birth plan and the nurse whipped out the IV. Which was terrible. But that meant I was on my way to getting the epidural which would put an end to the getting to be unbearable contractions. At one point I even started shaking uncontrollably and had to try with all my might not to throw up. And then the guy with the really big needle came into the room. I should first explain that I had been dreading the delivery and epidural with almost the same amount of fear. The same fear that had me sobbing to the hubby just a few nights before. And this was all before they informed me that the hubby couldn't be in the room while they were doing the epi. So my fear got turned up another notch or two. And just as my hubby walked out the door I started to pray. And didn't really stop until it was all over. And I am positive that is why I had absolutely no pain while getting the epidural. I didn't even feel the pressure they say you should. And then twenty minutes later I felt no pain from the contractions. Which was just as blissful as everyone says it is. But what they don't tell you is it makes you SUPER itchy. Everywhere, not just your lower half. Also they forget to mention that you can still wiggle your toes and FEEL them. Which freaked me out because if you can feel your toes wouldn't you still be able to feel the immense pain that was about to come? Anyway, then the nurse left us for pretty much the entire rest of the night. Which was about 5 hours of trying to sleep. Partway through my water broke which was a super weird sensation. But boy am I glad I wasn't at the store or church or something when it happened. Then at 6am I started feeling a lot of pressure down low in my pelvis. I tried to sleep through it and at 7am my doc came to check in with me. Turns out I was ready to start pushing! So the doc and one nurse started getting things ready (again not the crazy 10 people experience I was imagining). And in 20 minutes I began to push little H out. I had prepared myself for the 2 hours of excruciating pain that first timers usually experience. But 30 minutes later of intense but not completely  unbearable pain I had the most beautiful baby boy on my chest. At this point I was expecting a flow of tears. But none came. Immediately I wondered if this made me a bad mother. But then I realized it just hadn't sunk it yet. It felt too surreal. It was too amazing to have actually happened. I felt like a true woman and honestly felt so proud of myself for overcoming my greatest fear. I had been dreading the epi and delivery since finding out that's how babies came into the world. And even more so since getting prego. And I DID it. And more than that - he was HEALTHY. He had ten fingers and ten toes and scored a 9.9 out of 10 on the Apgar scale. He was perfect. Absolutely perfect. Since then we've been soaking up all things baby these past almost two weeks and it has been nothing short of amazing. I feel like I'm on a permanent love high for this little one. I honestly wasn't prepared for how obsessed I would be about every single detail of his being. And I don't see that ending any time soon. 

Introducing Orange Seed

Holden Christian England

October 31, 2012

8 lbs 20.5 inches

Birth story to follow...